For me, one of the most rewarding parts of being a Mum is having the chance to watch my girls interacting. Grace and Sophie have begun to really do so now and it’s just so special to witness. I love how Grace walks alongside the pram as I push Sophie, holding onto her little sister's hand. I love how Sophie's face lights up when she sees her big sister upon waking in the morning. I love looking behind me in the car to see my two girls reaching out to each other from their seats. Sophie is infatuated with her big sister and Grace fusses over ‘her baby’ like a mother hen.
I suddenly feel a kick from within,
as if to remind me that our time alone is limited.
And I wonder: How could I ever love another child as I love you?
Then he is born, and I watch you.
I watch the pain you feel at having to share me,
as you’ve never shared me before.
I hear you telling me in your own way,
“Please love only me.”
And I hear myself telling you in mine,
“I can’t,” knowing, in fact, that I never can again.
You cry. I cry with you.
I almost see our new baby as an intruder
on the precious relationship we once shared.
A relationship we can never quite have again.
But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being,
and feeling almost guilty.
I’m afraid to let you see me enjoying him.
– as though I am betraying you.
But then I notice your resentment change,
first to curiosity, then to protectiveness,
finally to genuine affection.
More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine.
The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.
But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two.
There are new times — only now, we are three.
I watch the love between you grow,
the way you look at each other, touch each other.
I see how excited you are by each of his new accomplishments.
And I begin to realize that I haven’t taken something from you,
I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you.
I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are,
And my question is finally answered, to my amazement...
Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you – only differently.
And although I realize that you may have to share my time,
There’s enough of that for both of you
– you each have your own supply.
I love you both and I thank you both for blessing my life.”
- Author unknown -
Wishing all of those with children a wonderful Mother's Day on Sunday, all those who will be spending time with their own Mums a special day and all those who cannot be with their loved ones, precious memories to reflect on of your time together.
Edited on 31 May 2012: This post was featured in the May 2012 edition of The Post of the Month Club.