Last year, as we were passing through Mt Barker on the return journey of our Denmark trip, I called into a few second hand stores for a quick browse and came away with a handful of treasures, including two tiny glasses, perfect for little ones to grasp in chubby hands. At 20c a piece, and reminding me of the glass I always claimed as my own on visits to my grandparent’s house as a little girl, they were even more perfect.
Days later, as the girls were sitting at their little table setting having some lunch, one of them accidentally knocked their glass off the table. It fell to the floor and broke into pieces and I was immediately devastated… devastated that my ‘perfect pair’ of glasses was no more. As I wiped the juice off the floorboards, unfairly chastised the clumsy culprit and swept away the shards of glass, I suddenly realised the ridiculousness of my mindset and my behaviour. Why was having two identical glasses so important to me? Why could I not see the beauty in a collection of mis-matched drinking glasses? What message was I subconsciously portraying?... I vowed then and there to work on being more accepting of imperfection, not only for my sake, but for my girls.
While I constantly let my girls know that ‘things don’t have to be perfect’ and ‘it’s okay to be wrong’, it is the example I am unknowingly setting that has got me thinking. It’s part of my personality to like things ’just so’and to focus on small details. But I am slowly learning to lower my standards, direct my energy towards what really matters and to accept that some things are out of my control (and that often it is best to step back and simply ‘see what happens’). Knowing that nothing is perfect, that mistakes happen, that there are ups and downs and dents and blemishes and that this is more than okay, is a lesson I desperately want my little girls to learn and a way of life I hope they embrace. I don’t want them to be striving for unrealistic standards. I want them to become confident, compassionate, accepting individuals who see the beauty in the imperfect... just as I am slowly beginning to do…
Oh, how I love this post Amanda. And so perfectly timed for me. I've noticed lately Miss E is getting frustrated with Mr R in a way that is unlike her - and it dawned on me tonight - she's repeating my ways of how I deal with them when I am frustrated or tired or cranky. It's those little life lessons that we can have control over. And I love to know that I'm not the only mother who is learning my way through it all. Mwah xx
ReplyDeleteMotherhood is definitely a 'learn as you go' job :) I often don't realise how annoying phrases are which I myself say or the tone with which I say things until Sophie comes out with a line.. children are such good mirrors for us mamas!
DeleteYou're an amazing mum Amanda! I learn so much on this journey of motherhood I'm on...and I really enjoyed reading your insights...something I need to remember too... Grace and Sophie are such happy and loving girls. You should be so proud of how well you nurture and guide them. Much love to you xox
ReplyDeleteThank you so much my lovely friend for your sweet words... they mean so much coming from you as I am always inspired by the way you nurture your own gorgeous family. Hope all is well, have been thinking of you xx
DeleteHard lessons for perfectionists like us I believe!!
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I do understand your reaction, I am so guilty of this too and it is something I really want to change. You are so right there is something beautiful in imperfection. I have a little saying when I talk to the girls 'we are all perfectly imperfect'. :):) Wishing you a beautiful day. xxxx
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