Adjusting To Kindy

When I sent Grace off to kindy for her first day last Friday, I never expected that I would spend so much time myself thinking about our new journey.  That I would feel tired emotionally after a week and have nervous knots in my stomach on the days when Grace wasn’t at home.  Today, after leaving a teary Grace with her teacher, Sophie and I met my cousin and her little girl for a coffee and a play at the park.  Having a distraction was good and kept me from re-playing over and over in my mind the image of Grace sitting by the teacher’s feet, her little shoulders hunched over, eyes misty and a sad expression on her face.  On the way home for lunch, I decided to lift my spirits and stopped in at a gift shop to treat myself to a scented candle.  After smelling several, the one I was drawn to was the ‘De-Stress’ blend which I thought was quite fitting.

Kindy has been such a new experience for my big girl.  She’s never been to day care.  Never spent long periods of time away from myself or Paul.  Never had to deal with feelings of worry and separation and uncertainty which are consuming her little overactive mind at the moment.

I know it’s early days.  I know that once she gets used to her routine and becomes familiar with her teachers and classroom and makes friends that this period will fade away.  But for now, I can't help but feel a little bit heart broken as I farewell her and walk home each day…

The lovely orange rose above is one of a bunch given to me for Valentine's Day yesterday by Paul

 - he also spoilt me with a surprise dinner at a favourite restaurant 

Pre-Term Butterflies

A few days ago, I drove past Grace’s new school and seeing all the teachers’ cars in the staff car park made me think back to where I used to be at this time each and every year prior to having children.  The final days of summer holidays were always spent in my classroom preparing for the term and year ahead.  Day dreaming about all that we would achieve and discover together on our learning journey.  Printing off name tags for each and every student.  Pouring over class lists and picturing the personalities behind each name.  Arranging desks.  Creating a classroom that felt warm and welcoming…

There are only a few days remaining before students go back to school here in WA.  However this year, I’m experiencing things on the flip side from a parent’s perspective and everything feels so foreign.  I’ve become the slightly emotional mama who can’t quite believe that her big girl is off to kindy, when it seems like it was only yesterday she was born.  

Slowly over this past week, we’ve been talking more and more about the journey ahead of us… preparing both Grace AND me.  There has been a lunchbox and a backpack to buy, much thinking on my part about what to actually pack in both, school supplies and uniforms to label, decisions to make regarding morning routines, thoughts on how we will spend our non-kindy days together… and a touch of nervousness on both our parts.

But there is also excitement. Excitement for the adventures and friends and experiences ahead.  For the skills my big girl will develop and for the tales of her days I look forward to her sharing with me as we walk home at the end of a school day.  There will be, I’m sure, many proud moments ahead… moments I look forward to whole heartedly.  So as our first of many terms commences next week, I will undoubtedly miss my little shadow, but will try not to dwell on the butterflies in my stomach and instead think about all the happy times ahead as her schooling journey begins...

Grateful For Good Health

 

When I was going through IVF, all I dreamt of was being pregnant.  When I was pregnant, I was desperate to reach the stage where our little one had a good chance of survival in the event of a premature birth.   When in labour, I just wanted a healthy baby boy or girl to be placed into my arms.  Four days ago, a friend of Paul’s family had her baby girl at 35 weeks… only the ‘healthy baby’ part was not quite as expected.  A path of medical intervention and surgery lies ahead and I feel such overwhelming saddness for her and her precious little one.  However, with a loving, supportive family and surrounded by their prayers, I know she will be in the best hands possible.

During my own childhood, my parents had to deal with me having hip dysplasia as a baby and juvenile rheumatoid arthritis from 18 months of age.  Weekly hospital appointments were a part of our lives for some time, along with no doubt much worry for my Mum and Dad.  It is only now that I have become a mother myself and have recently gone through a flare up of my arthritis that I can truly understand how hard it must have been for them to see me in pain, to tuck me into bed each night with splints on both my legs and to blow me a kiss as I was wheeled into the operating theatre.

This week, I am so immensely grateful, more than ever, for our two healthy girls, whose only visits to doctors have been for colds and viruses and typical childhood illnesses.  I am grateful that we live in a country where we have access to medical professionals and services.  And I am grateful that any health issues in our household at the moment are minor ones that I am facing, rather than my loved ones...

 



Linking up with Bron and Kidspot in the 52 Weeks of Grateful

 

An Important Year Of 'School'

Grace’s kindergarten orientation session yesterday morning went brilliantly, something which surprised me following her behaviour the night before.  In hindsight, I had built things up too much for her before bed.  As I tucked her in, we chatted about her big day ahead and about getting to meet her new teacher before saying goodnight and turning out the light.  However, our conversation must have left Grace lying in bed feeling anxious as she made an appearance in our living room numerous times with excuses of needing to go to the toilet, wanting a sip of water or pleading with me to lie with her.  Sensing her nervousness, I initially responded with compassion and care.  By the third of fourth time, I mumbled something about Father Christmas watching her and she disappeared back to her room without a squeak. 

And so our session yesterday surprised me.  Grace greeted her teacher confidently and introduced herself as well as her little sister.  She skipped off to the drawing activity whilst I sat at another table filling in forms and she then proceeded to give her teacher a full description of what she’d drawn.  She was the only child in our session I heard talk.  When our half hour was over, Grace looked up sadly from her play dough creation and said, “But I don’t want to go home yet Mummy, I want to stay longer.”  I smiled at the teacher and told her I’d been anticipating the opposite reaction.  Of course yesterday, I was still within sight and the transition session in a fortnight’s time where Grace will spend an hour doing activities with her teacher in her new classroom without me will be the real test. 

I returned home yesterday though feeling at ease and with a real sense of peace about the whole kindy journey ahead of us.  Grace’s teacher was warm and sweet natured, greeting the children kindly and making the parents feel welcome and valued.  It left me thinking about what people perceive as the most important year of a child’s primary school education.  As a parent, I can definitely see the significance of that initial experience in a kindergarten or pre-primary learning environment as it sets the scene for the years ahead.  As for my own kindergarten experiences though, I don’t remember much besides the bridal veil in the dress-up corner and the mud pies I made in the sand pit.    

What has been the most important year of schooling from your own experiences?

Our New Place Of Calm

In recent weeks, the girls and I have re-discovered a favourite spot, perfect for morning tea picnics, sandcastle building, shell collecting and paddling in the water.  It's a tranquil little part of the river with plenty of shade and plenty to see where we've been spending the odd morning here and there lately.

I know Paul thinks that I take the girls on simple little outings like these when I don’t have anything else to do, or when our friends are all busy and playdates can’t be organised.  On the contrary, I purposely set aside time for little outings like these BECAUSE I have too many ‘to-dos’ and too many people I feel I should be visiting.  Getting out of the house forces me to ignore the lists, the housework and the responsibilities and to simply ‘be’ and enjoy spending time with my girls.

I make time for such mornings just as much for Grace and Sophie as for myself.  Too often I find I'm doing something like sitting with the girls in the sand pit, building shell covered castles and digging moats, only to be distracted by a few weeds peering out from beneath the shrubs beside me.  And then before I know it, I’ve not only pulled those out, but I’ve then taken the washing off the line, tidied up some outdoor toys lying about and watered the vegetable patch instead of playing with the girls.  While I know multi-tasking is part of our lives as Mums, I’m trying to consciously ‘sit and be’ more often as I know these precious toddler and pre-schooler days will be over in the blink of an eye.  

Earlier in the week, Claire from Scissors Paper Rock made reference to a beautifully written post over at Enjoying The Small Things.  As I popped across myself for a read, I discovered some real words of wisdom...

"Nothing is more urgent than being kind to ourselves and present for our families" 

... I'm glad that this week, I've taken this outlook on board, spent quality time with my darlings and enjoyed some moments of calm and tranquility out in the fresh air myself, all of which makes me a better Mum and my girls happier little girls...    

One Weekend Wonder: 197 Daisies

Over the weekend, I have been slowly making fondant daisies for Sophie's birthday cake  (the photo above shows only a quarter of those I have created).  Back when I first posted about my vision for her party and the picnic theme I was picturing , I was still unsure on the cake, until Catherine left a comment suggesting tying in the flowers on my inspiration board in some way.  A bit of Googling had me deciding on a simple round cake with buttercream frosting, covered in a sprinkling of edible daisies.  However, with pre-made sugar decorations costing around fifty cents each, I instead bought myself two cutters and a pack of fondant icing and added the task of making a whole bunch of these to my party preparations.

I must admit, this activity lost its novelty factor about halfway through and became a tad tiring (although making these flowers is actually very easy).  I now understand why prettily decorated wedding cakes are so expensive.  However, one positive that came from this repetitive task was that it gave me time to sit and think and reminisce...

As I worked away, I thought back to where I was at this time last year... three days away from my due date.. Sophie was head down after having been 'turned' a few weeks earlier when we discovered she was breech.  My labour bag had been packed, complete with presents for my big girl for each day she would visit me in hospital.  Grace's patchwork quilt had been finally sewn (my one 'must-do' on my list of 'nesting tasks'.)  My round belly (whilst small and compact) was becoming increasingly uncomfortable.  I was feeling a mixture of emotions... excitement at being able to finally meet our precious bub and also apprehension about how I would adjust to being a Mama to two little ones.

And yesterday, as I continued on with my mundane task and made daisy after daisy and became lost in my thoughts, I looked over to Grace and Sophie playing in the living room beside me and realised  how lucky I am to be at this point, one year on, with my precious little family and this life I am so blessed to have...


Pop over to Claire's One Weekend Wonder Link-Up to see what others have been up to this weekend...

Finding Time

This week, I haven’t had the energy or enthusiasm for much blogging.  I haven’t had the energy or enthusiasm to do much at all really.  After my last post, the girls came down with colds and so since the weekend, I’ve been looking after two snotty little ones and trying to rest myself as I’ve been under the weather too.

In general though, finding time to be online lately has been more challenging.  For the past few years, my blogging session has always been when Grace napped.  The first half of my precious two hour or so block of ‘mama solitude’ is my ‘me time’ – time for recharging my batteries with a cup of tea, to put up my feet for a while and to write a blog post or read a few others.  Sure, allowing myself to have this online time rather than using it for chores means beds are occasionally left unmade and dust can be left sitting on shelves, but for me, I am able to do my job better as a Mum when I have a bit of down time each day and that takes priority over other tasks.  My girls are with me 24/7 and since I can literally count on my fingers the number of times I’ve had a few hours here or there to myself over the past year, I feel I can fairly justify me prioritizing my hobby over housework during nap time.  

However, it is now a rarity if Grace has an afternoon kip.  If I’m lucky, she’ll be exhausted mid-week and there’ll be one or two snoozes, but generally, she’s still full of energy come one thirty when Sophie is due to go down.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining.  I know I’m lucky she’s napped past the age of three and I honestly love her company.  It’s just that now, I feel I can’t dedicate as much of my usual time slot to blogging and online browsing the way I used to.   

At the moment, I encourage Grace to have some quiet play or a rest in her room with an activity that isn’t too loud or disturbing for Sophie next door (books, puzzles, dress-ups  etc.)  However, after a while of that and once I've had a cup of tea, it’s time to do something together and so we have our crafting sessions, play a game or spend time pottering in the garden... and hence my online time has become more restricted.   But for now, spending time with my big girl is my priority and what makes me happiest... it just means I have to be more creative sneaking in my blocks of ‘me time’.  Nowadays, in the evening, when the madness of the tea/bath/bed routine is over and I can finally put my feet up, I allow myself an hour of online time to catch up on my favourite blogs or to browse a bit on Pinterest.

I’m really interested to hear when you all find time to be online?  Do you get up early?  Are you a night owl?  Do you browse in your lunch break at work?  Do you browse on your phone or iPad while commuting to work?  I’d love to know what works for you… 

Babies Growing

With looming first birthdays and talk of Grace going to kindy next year, things have really been hitting home lately that my babies are growing up...

Grace all of a sudden seems so much older.  As I watch her tearing about in the backyard with those long legs of hers, I often forget she's only three.  She is desperate to do everything independently - from getting dressed, to drying herself after a bath to opening doors and checking the letterbox.  I can't tell you how many times a day I hear the words, "I can do it by myself Mummy".   

Sophie... well she's desperate to copy anything and everything her big sister does.  She pulls herself up to standing at every opportunity.  You can see where I discovered her playing over the weekend in the photo above... at Grace's toy kitchen.  Over the space of just a week, she's started walking along the furniture and even been brave enough to let go a few times.  She is eager to walk (and I must admit, I'm eager for her to walk too as she is getting mighty heavy for my slight frame and I think I'm developing tendonitis in my elbow as a result of all the lifting).

It was two weeks ago however, after returning home from our holiday down south that I really felt as though my baby was gradually becoming less of a baby.  It was in Denmark that she dropped the two o'clock in the morning feed she's had every night since she was born.  And while I'd been hanging out for her to 'sleep through the night' for SO long and while I'm feeling SO much better finally getting a decent night's slumber after ten months, this milestone really is proof of my baby moving closer towards toddlerhood.  Facing that fact makes me a tad sad.

As for the feathered 'baby' we have been keeping a close eye on, she's growing bigger and bigger each day too.  It is so precious being able to watch her and the mother bird from our kitchen ever since we witnessed her hatching from her egg last week.  Even now as I sit here typing on the lounge, I can see the nest clearly with the little baby's head peering out over the top of the foliage. The photo above is of 'feeding time' (which from what I've observed is done 'beak to beak').   If you look closely, you can see the thin, fragile bones on the baby's wing which aren't yet fully feathered. Truly amazing stuff.  

Fortunately, my 'babies' are a LONG way off 'leaving the nest' and so while all this growing up saddens me slightly, I'm grateful and ever so excited about the many fun years we have ahead of us to look forward to spending with our girls... I am thankful every day for being blessed enough to be their Mama...
 

Discussing Death With A Three Year Old

Up until recently, we hadn’t had to discuss ‘death’ with Grace.  There was only one occasion earlier in the year when she found a baby dove which had fallen out of its nest.  Its lifeless, barely feathered body was lying underneath the jasmine bush just by our back door and she was rather puzzled by what had happened. While I told her he had ‘died’ and we lovingly buried him in the garden under the lily-pilly, I don’t think she really understood that poor little bird’s fate.

Then a few weeks back, the topic of death came up as we were watching the movie Finding Nemo.  Up until now, Grace didn’t seem to realise that the two fish at the beginning of the movie were Nemo’s dad and mum.  She thought they were the dad and Nemo himself.  That week, she clicked on. 

“I think that’s the mummy and daddy Nemo,” she told me. 

As the scene where the nasty swordfish swoops in finished, a scene where the viewer can assume the mother fish and the fish eggs have been eaten, Grace asked, “Where has the mummy one gone?” 

I tried to avoid having to explain things further with an “I’m not sure” but Grace wasn’t convinced.  “But I saw the mummy one just then,” she said, “she was there, where is she now?  Nemo needs his daddy AND his mummy.” 

We talked about the possibility that the mother fish had been eaten.  I told her not everyone was lucky enough to have a mummy and a daddy to which she burst into tears exclaiming, “But I need a daddy AND a mummy… Mummy, are you going to die?”

I assured her there weren’t any swordfish in our house and I was staying put. 

Then a few weekends back, we stopped by the cemetery to put some flowers on Dad’s grave.  “This is a boring shop,” said Grace. 

“It’s not a shop,” I said, “it’s a cemetery, we’re putting flowers on Pop’s grave.” 

“Why?” came the response. 

I explained Pop had died because he had been very sick and had a bad heart.     

“Will you die Mummy?” she asked, clearly concerned again. 

I explained that Mummy was young and healthy and that she didn’t have to worry about me going anywhere. 

“But you were sick before,” she said, “You were coughing.’

We have conversations like this a lot lately.  It's hard to know how to answer at times or if I'm giving the right type of response.  Grace is at an age where she is so inquisitive and curious about the world and its workings.  Ours days are filled with endless ‘whys’ and ‘hows’ which are exhausting at times, but I love helping her learn and understand and wouldn’t have things any other way...

Photography by Chelsea Fuss of Frolic

Bookworm Club: Bugs And Insects

With the feeling that this year is disappearing before my eyes, I found myself lying awake in bed the other night suddenly realising that I only have Grace home with me full time for another six months before she starts kindergarten in February.  I began to worry if our days were fun enough for her, if I spent enough time playing with her each day and if we were doing enough enjoyable activities.  Deep down I know that she loves our time together at home.  I just don't want to get to next year and look back on this time wishing I'd 'done more'.  I find I'm constantly reminding myself of the poem 'Excuse This House' lately whilst I'm doing my best to balance work and play.   

One of the the things we have been spending time on together is Claire’s fun Bookworm Club over at one of my favourite blogs, Scissors Paper Rock.  Trips to the library, curling up together reading books and using what we'd read as a starting point for some art activities are all things I want to continue with Grace over our next few months together.

This theme seemed to re-ignite Grace’s love of 'The Very Hungry Caterpillar' and consequently, EVERY night this week, it’s been her book of choice for a bed time story.  When we reached the page about the caterpillar building a cocoon and transforming into a butterfly, Grace kept asking, ‘but HOW does he build it?’ so together, we used this as a learning opportunity and searched for a clip on You Tube to help understand this better.  As a related art activity, we looked at the symmetry of butterflies and with some help to find the segments which matched on each side of its body, Grace coloured in the outline you can see above and had fun shaking glitter over a few parts.

By far, Grace's favourite bug related book was a great sticker book we found in the toy aisle at our local supermarket which provided lots of simple explanations and information about a whole range of creepy crawlies.  It has been a wonderful activity for rainy days. 

Now we’re looking forward to the theme for the August Bookworm Club which is Under The Sea… lots of scope for fun books and activities with this topic... can't wait!  

Priorities And Projects

I used to be quite an organised person.  Cupboards and drawers were neatly arranged, my car was spotless without a speck of dirt or sand and paperwork was promptly filed away.  However, circumstances here lately have led me to feel extremely disorganised.  Around the time of Grace’s party, when the girls were also unwell, I felt as though I was struggling to stay on top of things.   My to-do list contained far too many items to ever be achievable, sorting out tea each night was becoming a mammoth task and as far as the housework, I was falling further and further behind.  More time consuming projects such as organising or craft were WAY down the bottom of my list.

Over the past few weeks, I have changed my mindset and tried to be less of a perfectionist.  I have accepted that I can’t do it all.  That my life has changed and I can’t be that once super organised person I was.  My standards have dropped.  And that’s okay.   I have decided to focus on one word – prioritising and made a list of the top things I need to take care of daily in my role as a stay at home Mum and displayed it on the fridge where I can see it often and remind myself of what’s really important.  

I've also decided to focus on one major area of home life that is bothering me each week.  I sat down and made a big list of all the areas I feel aren’t running as smoothly as I’d like, that need to be better organised and that need time allocated to them in order to be remedied.  Things like having a decent supply of home-cooked frozen meals , listing some unwanted items on Gumtree, sorting through the contents of our wardrobes, editing and deleting photos and coming up with a better system for managing and responding to emails (our inbox currently has 2537 emails sitting there) will all have ‘their week’. 

Last week’s focus was ‘Operation Baby Food’.  I made a whole range of dishes and pureed and froze them all ready for the coming months for Sophie. Hopefully they should take us through to her starting on finger foods.  This week’s focus is ‘Operation Stock-Up’.  Running out of things lately has really been annoying me (and Paul who I am constantly asking to stop at the local supermarket on his way home from work).  I used to have a good system in place for my grocery shopping and ensuring I had ‘back-ups’ of frequently used pantry items and toiletries.  Now I have no idea what it is I'm running low on.  

I’m finding myself more productive with my focus for the week as I’ve tended to flit from project to project, ending up with lots of things half done.  Having a weekly priority and knowing that I have one thing I’d really like to accomplish come Sunday is actually achievable for me. 

How do you deal with things when you are feeling overwhelmed and disorganised?  I’d love for you to share your strategies…

Cute notebook above available from Fresh Words Market on Etsy

Childhood 101 Guestpost

Morning everyone!  Hope you've all had a wonderful, relaxing weekend.  Mine was fantastic, the highlight being high tea with my two best friends at The Duxton in Perth on Saturday afternoon.  It was such a lovely belated birthday get together and and we are looking forward to trying another venue for high tea soon.

Today, I'm guest posting over at one of my favourite blogs and parenting resources, Childhood 101 while Christie is on maternity leave having just had her second child.  I was very humbled when Christie asked me to share a post with her readers as her blog is such an amazing resource for parents and educators and one which I gain many ideas from.  It covers topics like everyday parenting issues, organising tips, craft ideas and schooling / childcare.  Christie also has an ebook called 'Art Not Craft' which I highly recommend as well as an online magazine called 'Play Grow Learn' filled with activity ideas for babies, toddlers and preschoolers.

Pop on over to read what I've shared about 'playtime in our house' and how I try and balance things with my two girls...

Sisterly Love

For me, one of the most rewarding parts of being a Mum is having the chance to watch my girls interacting.  Grace and Sophie have begun to really do so now and it’s just so special to witness.  I love how Grace walks alongside the pram as I push Sophie, holding onto her little sister's hand.  I love how Sophie's face lights up when she sees her big sister upon waking in the morning.  I love looking behind me in the car to see my two girls reaching out to each other from their seats.  Sophie is infatuated with her big sister and Grace fusses over ‘her baby’ like a mother hen.

A few weeks back, a comment on Childhood 101 left by Jenn of My (Not So) Glamourous Life really struck a chord with me.  Jenn shared this poem below which I think sums up perfectly the feeling many Mums have when expecting their second child…

As I hold your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship, 
I suddenly feel a kick from within, 
as if to remind me that our time alone is limited.
And I wonder: How could I ever love another child as I love you?
Then he is born, and I watch you.
I watch the pain you feel at having to share me,
as you’ve never shared me before.
I hear you telling me in your own way,
“Please love only me.”
And I hear myself telling you in mine,
“I can’t,” knowing, in fact, that I never can again.
You cry. I cry with you.
I almost see our new baby as an intruder
on the precious relationship we once shared.
A relationship we can never quite have again.
But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, 
and feeling almost guilty.
I’m afraid to let you see me enjoying him.
– as though I am betraying you.
But then I notice your resentment change,
first to curiosity, then to protectiveness,
finally to genuine affection.
More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine.
The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.
But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two.
There are new times — only now, we are three.
I watch the love between you grow, 
the way you look at each other, touch each other.

I watch how he adores you — as I have for so long.
I see how excited you are by each of his new accomplishments.
And I begin to realize that I haven’t taken something from you,

I’ve given something to you.
I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you.
I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are,

but equally strong.
And my question is finally answered, to my amazement...
Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you – only differently.
And although I realize that you may have to share my time,

I now know you’ll never share my love.
There’s enough of that for both of you
– you each have your own supply.
I love you both and I thank you both for blessing my life.”

- Author unknown -


Wishing all of those with children a wonderful Mother's Day on Sunday, all those who will be spending time with their own Mums a special day and all those who cannot be with their loved ones, precious memories to reflect on of your time together.


Edited on 31 May 2012: This post was featured in the May 2012 edition of  The Post of the Month Club.

Our Dress Up Dilemma Take Two

I thought I’d fill you all in on the latest with Grace’s dress-up obsession since I last wrote about it.  After the night where we found Grace in bed complete with fairy dress, crown and wand, I told Grace I 'had to do some alterations’ to a few costumes and so I kept the dress-up basket in the living room that night just to see what she’d do.  When we did our usual check on the girls as we headed to bed, we found Grace in bed in knickers, her bathers and a beach hat!!  It was hilarious.  Once again, she was in such a deep sleep, I could easily change her back into her pyjamas.  The following night, with the dress-up basket still in the living room, Grace decided to change into her floral party dress before hitting the pillow.    It’s become a case of ‘what outfit will Grace have changed into tonight?’

One night in that same week, as I was creeping out of Sophie’s nursery having done an early morning feed, I thought I’d poke my head in to see if Grace was warm enough.  There she was sitting on her bed, ‘mid-change’ getting dressed into the fairy costume yet again.

Following on from all the advice on my last post, I’ve decided Grace can dress up all she wants during the day at home.  As I said previously, there’s only a certain window in a little girl’s life where it’s acceptable to do so.  Over the past few nights however, I’ve come to the conclusion that the issue I have is Grace getting out of bed after she’s been tucked in.

Over the past week, each night, after I’ve read her a story, had cuddles and tucked her in, she’s either done an outfit change or been creeping around the house ‘borrowing’ things to bring back into her room.  Every night she’s ‘borrowed’ the torch I keep next to my bed as well as the little light-up clock in Sophie’s room which I use to see the time during the early morning feed. 

So, how should I deal with this?  I’ve explained to Grace that once Mummy has tucked her in, she’s only allowed out of bed if she needs to go to the toilet and that if she does get out of bed, there will be a consequence.  Last night, she still hadn’t learnt and so her consequence tonight is that she must go to bed before Sophie (lately, she’s been allowed to go to bed after Sophie seeing as she is older).  I’ve told her there will be no DVD (she is normally allowed to have ten to fifteen minutes of watching one while I feed Sophie).  Tonight it will be bath, pyjamas and straight to bed.

However, I’ve been wondering about a few things:

·         Should I find some more appealing pyjamas for Grace?  I did try letting her choose which ones she wore to bed in the hope that she would be happy with her choice.  However, that night she came into the living room naked, nightie in hand announcing she needed to change into another one.  I’ve also been giving her a choice of two outfits each morning in the hope that giving her a bit more choice might help.

·         Is Grace not tired enough when it’s bedtime?  With our new night time routine, her bedtime has moved back by half an hour which I don’t want to change.  However, on most days, she is still having a very long nap after lunch and I’m not sure that’s such a good thing for an almost three year old.  Yesterday she slept from half past one until after four.  I’ve been contemplating shorting her nap in the hope she’ll be so tired at night, she’ll be asleep before she even thinks about wandering around the house.

I’d appreciate any ideas or advice anyone has on how to deal with this.  As I said, I’m not worried about the ‘dressing-up’ part (although having outfits pulled out of her wardrobe each day is beginning to drive me crazy) but what I don’t want is Grace wandering around the house in the middle of the night or early in the morning before I’m up.  Not only is it naughty, it could be dangerous.  What would you do if you were in my shoes?  

Finding A New Rhythm

As those of you with children know, the early months with a baby aren’t easy, especially when it comes to getting out of the house.  Simply managing to have your nappy bag packed and everyone into the car feels like a task that takes hours of planning. Back when Grace was born, it was no trouble at all to have her nap in the pram as I window shopped or to strap her to me in the baby carrier as I went for a walk. I’ve found doing so with two little ones however not to be as easy.

My biggest fear has been interrupting Sophie’s naps. While I know that my daily life cannot be totally controlled by this, after all those unsettled months we experienced, sleep time has become so precious that I hate to disrupt it. As my wise friend Jane advised me, ‘this is a time for being, not a time for doing’ and to date, I have been strongly adhering to her advice. Consequently, most of our outings have been brief ones, popping to the grocery store to get a handful of items or to feed the ducks at the park down the road. Grace doesn’t seem to mind our latest pattern of quieter, simpler days at home. In fact, she adores just pottering around in the yard more than anything. However, I feel that it is time for us to get back into the swing of short morning outings for her sake, especially seeing as I want to make her last year at home full time, before she starts kindergarten next year, a memorable one.

So, I’ve come to a compromise. While I never spent all day every day out and about pre-Sophie anyway, Grace and I did tend to have regular morning outings. I’ve decided now to alternate these with days spent at home. Two or three mornings will be outings such as going for a babycino, dropping by the library or visiting friends for play-dates. I am also thinking of taking Grace to a little dance class nearby or to swimming lessons so she can start socialising a bit more with children her own age. The remaining two or three mornings will be spent at home and during this time, I am setting aside special one on one time for my big girl. In the morning while Sophie has her first nap of the day, Grace and I have been doing a fun activity together like painting or baking, something out of the ordinary that involves something other than her usual playtime activities. It is nice to have time for just the two of us and I feel better doing something constructive with her that she enjoys. As for the afternoons, we do another activity together, usually outdoors when it has cooled down a bit. Or, if we’ve had a morning at home, we might head down to the park for a play. The rest of our days are taken up with meal times, chores and of course, free play.

A few weeks back, one of our outings was a visit to the Pickled Fairy in Fremantle, somewhere I had promised to take Grace to many moons ago. I let her wear her fairy costume as a special treat. We stopped at a café on the Cappuccino Strip and perched ourselves on the stools along the window where we enjoyed our babycino and cup of tea and played ‘Spotto’ as the traffic passed by. Then we headed to the fairy shop. Grace was in awe. Every corner of every wall and every inch of ceiling space was covered in fairies and butterflies and other such prettiness. We spent some time looking at all the cute things for sale, put a coin in the wishing well, did some colouring in at the fairy table and chose something to buy with the few dollars I let Grace have (she chose a three dollar fairy figurine). Miraculously Sophie fell asleep in the pram and while her nap was shorter than it normally would be at home in her cot, it was manageable.

One day last week, for a morning at home activity, we made fairy bread with cookie cutters. Grace enjoyed punching out stars and butterflies and was excited to be allowed to use a knife for the first time to spread the butter onto the bread. A simple activity, but something that I know Grace loved doing.

Gradually, I realise our current routine will probably change again as Sophie’s gets older and as the weather starts to become chillier. For now though, this feels right and I am happy that we have a rhythm to our days, one that suits all of us in our little household.

My Tips For Helping Those Who’ve Had Babies

On Thursday, my cousin and my best friend welcomed their first baby into the world, a darling baby girl named Ava. Despite being pregnant, my best friend did all she could to support me and help out during my pregnancy and in the early months after Sophie was born and so this weekend, I’ve been thinking about all the kind gestures I really appreciated, some of which I hope to do myself with my friend. I thought I’d share some of these with you all…


Feed Your Friend – In the early days, feeding your baby and getting precious sleep will become priorities and so feeding oneself is never high on the ‘to do’ list. Preparing a meal will help your friend immensely. Frozen meals are great (think soups, pasta dishes, casseroles, pies etc.) but fresh salads and the like are welcomed too. I’m also planning on making our friends a batch of Lemon Slice which can be frozen and is quick to defrost so that they have something on hand to offer with a cuppa should any visitors pop in unexpectedly. Bringing over lunch for your friend is also a great idea.


Just Do It – When you do visit your friend, don’t ask, “Is there anything I can do to help you out?” Your friend will either be too tired to think, or too polite to answer. Look around and take action yourself. If there’s washing on the line, bring it in and fold it. Dishes in the sink? Pop them in the dishwasher or wash them by hand. Find the vacuum cleaner and do a quick whip around while your friend is feeding her newborn. Trust me, all these gestures will be greatly appreciated.


Message Don’t Call – Phone calls can be difficult with a newborn. Your friend will either have the phone off the hook in an attempt to avoid waking up bub, be pre-occupied when the phone rings or have limited time to actually talk. Messages are much easier to respond to. Don’t expect a reply straight away though. I often replied to my messages when I was breastfeeding in the middle of the night as I found it helped keep me awake. I’d just save them under ‘Drafts’ until the next morning when I could send them at an appropriate hour.


Short And Sweet – When you do visit your friend (always ringing to check it is okay first), keep your visit short. Your friend may not feel like entertaining all afternoon, nor will she have the energy to do so. She will however appreciate your company. On this subject, when it comes to your friend’s post-baby hospital stay, don’t rush to visit her in hospital the day after she’s given birth (unless we’re talking about your best friend). While everyone is different, I found I preferred to see my friends once I’d returned home and life had settled down a bit.


Out and About – After those first few weeks, offer to get your friend out of the house. Either invite her to your house so she has gone for an outing but still has your assistance, or offer to help take her and bub out somewhere such as for a coffee or a walk. You can start to get 'cabin fever' with a newborn so getting out of the house will be welcomed.


Toddler Treats – If your friend has other children, think about spoiling them too. Often, all the focus is on the newborn and it’s easy for siblings to feel a bit neglected. Either bring a small gift for the older child (I had friends give Grace things like a new colouring book, story books, clothes, a teddy etc.) and when you do visit your friend, give the older child some one on one attention. Sit down and do a puzzle, colour in, go outside and play with a ball. Your friend will appreciate knowing their older child is being entertained and being treated to some special time. I even had one friend come around with lunch for me one day. She then took her pram and treated Grace and her two boys to a picnic and play in the park down the road, leaving me to have some quiet time at home with Sophie.


So that’s my little round up of tips to help those you know who have a newborn. I hope one or two may give you an idea of ways you can help your friends and family in those tricky and tiring early days.

On the subject of newborns, check out this stunning trio of photos fellow blogger Bron of Baby Space shared the other day. I just love them! 

Cute image above from oscarlucinda, another lovely blogger with a new baby - be sure to check out her corner of blogland where she shares snippets of daily life with her beautiful baby girl Saskia...

Sophie's Smiles = One Happy Mama

Time for a Sophie update as so many of you left well wishes, messages of encouragement and were eager to hear how things developed following our stay in hospital a few weeks back. Today she is three months old and we have been seeing a big improvement lately.

After ruling out reflux when her reflux medication made the situation worse, we determined that Sophie's unsettledness was due to a few reasons. Basically a lactose overload caused by my huge milk supply, a fast let down and Sophie's super strong sucking action were giving her an overfull, uncomfortable belly leading to very bad colic. Since our hospital stay, Sophie has been on shorter feeds and has gradually become a much happier baby. I don't know whether it's due to her new feeding regime, the natural colic medicine we've been trying, a few dietary changes I've made or the simple fact that Sophie is getting older but something is helping and I all I know is that it's pure bliss having a smily, more content baby now.

Over the past few tougher months, I've learnt a few things about colic and unsettled babies...



- It's not your fault. Even fantastic mothers can have unsettled babies.

- Try anything and everything. Whether it's one of the many over the counter natural remedies, an old wive's tale, a piece of advice from another mother or a tip you find as you trawl the Internet desperately trying to find a solution... try it. You never know, one may work and if not, you'll feel better trying to do something since there's no 'cure' as such for colic.

- When things start getting tough, overwhelming or stressful, ask for help. I found this hard as I felt like perhaps it was just me thinking that Sophie was so unsettled. Others would often only see her in her 'good moments'.

- You will find yourself unable to relax easily. When your baby is sleeping or quiet, you will be 'on edge' waiting for those cries.

- People will tell you to 'hang in there' or that everything will ease off around the 12 week mark but while you are dealing with an unsettled baby, this may seem hard to believe.

- Eventually, things will get easier and when your happier, smily baby grins at you with love, you too will smile because life is good.

Multitasking And Thinking Ahead

The other night, I was fairly organised for tea but just needed to fry some bacon for the potato salad I had made. Not wanting to risk fat spilling on her with such a task, I palmed Sophie (who was due to go back to sleep) off to Paul. “Just rock her and pat her on the bum while you sit down and colour in with Grace,” I told him. As Sophie’s cries became louder, Paul suddenly dropped his bundle, “I can’t do it,” he said. “How can you expect me to do two things at once? I can’t settle Sophie and play with Grace at the same time.”

I laughed. Welcome to my world.

As a Mum to two under two and a half, I’ve learnt that multitasking involves doing a minimum of ten things at once. For example, I find myself hunting around the house for clothes so I can throw on a load of washing while I help Grace do a jigsaw puzzle, carry around Sophie and begin to organise dinner all at the same time.

I no longer walk from room to room with one purpose. If I head into our room to grab a nappy for Sophie, I’ll bring some clothes I’ve just taken off the line and folded with me to put away. On my way out again, I’ll collect a toy Grace has left lying in the hallway.

As well as multitasking, thinking ahead has become routine. I’ll sometimes set out clothes to wear the night before so I’ll make less noise in our bedroom (where Sophie’s bassinette is) in the morning. Plates and cutlery for tea are often waiting on the kitchen bench in the afternoon. Components of meals are made in advance to take advantage of moments when Sophie is sleeping or settled. One morning recently, I had boiled eggs and potatoes for a salad, poached some chicken and cooked some rice all before ten o’clock to make meal preparations for the following three days that little bit easier.

I realise that this pace of life is just a stage and that as Sophie gets older each month, daily life will become easier but I also realise it’s important that each day, I have a little bit of time to just be in the ‘now’. As someone told me recently, I need to sit down and just have a cuppa and take some time for me occasionally too. And so, that is what I’ve been aiming to do more of lately –to wander around in our yard seeing how things are growing, to browse a few blogs or write a post, to sit down with a magazine and a cuppa and to learn to appreciate simple daily pleasures without worrying about whether the dishes have been done or being bothered by a pile of washing yet to be folded… and most importantly, to enjoy all the special daily moments with my two precious girls.

We've Been In Hospital...

After persisting with a frequently unsettled Sophie since we brought her home from hospital and attempting to find a solution through various reflux medications when the situation became worse as the weeks passed, I reached the end of my tether on Wednesday night. Sophie had been in pain after her feeds as usual but after screaming uncontrollably for hours (at a whole new scale) and with none of the usual tricks like a warm bath or a feeding at least comforting her a bit, I was concerned something may have been physically wrong and so took her to the children's hospital emergency department. From there we were transferred to a children's ward in another hospital for her to be monitored.

Nothing conclusive has been discovered yet and we're assuming her issues are stemming from our little piggy overfilling her belly with my fast flowing milk as opposed to it being reflux as her medication appeared to be making things worse. Also, she had put on double the expected weight since her birth and jumped from the 75th percentile to the 95th! So today we're back at home and trying shorter feeds to see if that makes a difference at all before a follow up appointment on Monday. I'll keep you all posted...


P.S Will draw the winner of my giveaway soon I promise!

Filling You All In...

I’m back!! Boy have I missed you all and this little corner of blogland of mine. A month on after having Sophie, I finally feel like things are a bit more manageable and I’m getting back into the swing of things. I started this blog just over two years ago when Grace was a baby and I found myself craving some ‘me’ time. Once again, as much as I’m enjoying simple days at home with my girls, I’m missing the online community I’ve become a part of and so the time feels right to start posting again. I may not be able to write as often as I’d like but I am eager to share so much with you all, to slowly catch up on everyone’s latest news and to be inspired as always by all of your lovely blogs (stay tuned for a little giveaway I have planned too). So here’s a little update on what’s been happening in the Homely One household …



Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your comments and good wishes on Sophie’s arrival. They truly warmed my heart. Sophie’s birth went really well. After being induced, I was in labour for six hours and I wouldn’t change a thing about the experience. Our hospital stay was great and I enjoyed the early days of getting to know our precious little baby girl. We had a few people drop by on the Sunday to meet Sophie, but I soon declined requests to visit as I was exhausted and preferred to spend the days with just Paul and Grace. We stuck to a little routine during my hospital stay which I think helped Grace cope as well as she did being away from me. We did have occasional tears though and Grace’s plea of ‘please you come home Mummy, pleeeease!’ broke my heart one afternoon. However, by the last day, she was so excited to be heading to ‘Nan’s house’ for tea that I didn’t even get a kiss goodbye.

When I returned home, I found the initial few days very overwhelming. The baby blues definitely kicked in and together with the sleep deprivation, I found myself constantly teary. Thank goodness I had Paul home and my Mum had taken a few weeks off work to help us out. I became a bit of a hermit as I didn’t feel up to visitors at all and found just getting through each day extremely tiring. Sophie was also quite unsettled as I had an oversupply of milk. The fast flow was causing her to get tummy pains and the frequent feeding just seemed to be adding to the problem (if anyone has any advice in regards to this breastfeeding issue please let me know!!)

Slowly, as the days went on and I caught up on sleep, things became more manageable and I felt better able to cope. These days, Sophie is feeding every three or four hours and I’m managing to get around six hours of sleep (broken up by feeds) each night. However, I try and time things so the two girls are both napping after lunch and I attempt to and catch up on sleep here myself. I find it so hard keeping my eyes open in the middle of the night as I sit propped up in bed breastfeeding, but I do treasure these quiet times alone with my bub.



Grace is rather smitten by our newest family member and wearing her ‘big sister’ badge with pride. She is eager to help with baths and nappy changes and yesterday I caught her trying to console Sophie by patting her lovingly and saying, “Don’t worry, I’m here.”



Gradually, I’m finding little strategies that help make my days with two little ones more manageable and I’m feeling more confident in my new role as a Mummy to two. And while I’m cherishing these precious newborn days as we don’t plan on having any more children, I’m definitely looking forward to having a bit more routine to our days, for breastfeeding to become a more peaceful experience once my milk settles down and for the night when I wake up after a block of solid sleep. In the meantime, I’m soaking up every little precious moment with our little bub Sophie…