Sad 'Lasts'

While this past year with Sophie has been filled with exciting 'firsts', it has seen us do lots of things for the last time too.  There was the last time I let her fall asleep on me on the couch at night.  The last time I put her to bed in the bassinet before her move to the cot.  The last time I dragged myself down to the nursery to feed her in the wee hours of the morning.  This time last week, it was the last time I gave her a breast feed.  After 12 and a half months of doing so, this one was a sad milestone for me, especially seeing as our family is now complete and no more babies are on the cards.

Breastfeeding definitely hasn't always been smooth sailing for the two of us though.  I had issues in the early days due to my oversupply of milk and feeding created a bit of a vicious cycle.  When Sophie was unsettled, a breastfeed was the only thing that seemed to settle her and yet unknowingly, this ‘over feeding’ was contributing to her pain with her little belly unable to cope with the huge amounts of milk. After our hospital visit at around seven weeks, we began shorter five or ten minute feeds, offering only one side at a time and things drastically improved.  Feeding was once again a peaceful experience that I cherished and while I did get the odd blocked duct here and there, I loved our little ‘milk bar sessions’ throughout the day.  However, as much as I loved feeding my girls and as much as I know I will miss it with Sophie, I know in my heart the time is right for us to stop.  

Now, Sophie’s feeds are carried out in a slightly different manner, but I still get my quota of snuggles nonetheless.  I’m trying her out on a2 milk and she drinks it from a small sippy cup by herself, usually on the go whilst playing.  However, our night time cup is enjoyed cuddled up on the couch together and is one of the few times our little wriggly worm will actually sit still. And just like in the picture above displayed in Sophie's room (an adored gift given to me by lovely Jane), after her milk, before I put her into the cot for the night, I pop her into her sleeping bag, turn out the lamp and she nestles her little head into my shoulder, wraps her arms around me and tugs affectionately on my hair. I'm happy that we can still enjoy our precious cuddles with one another just as we did throughout all those months of breastfeeding.

For those interested, the illustration above is a photo of a framed greeting card in Sophie's nursery by Anita Jeram (illustrator of the popular children's book 'Guess How Much I Love You')  This print is called 'Hold Me Tight' and is available at Two Bad Mice.