Friday, May 4, 2012

Our Dress Up Dilemma Take Two




I thought I’d fill you all in on the latest with Grace’s dress-up obsession since I last wrote about it.  After the night where we found Grace in bed complete with fairy dress, crown and wand, I told Grace I 'had to do some alterations’ to a few costumes and so I kept the dress-up basket in the living room that night just to see what she’d do.  When we did our usual check on the girls as we headed to bed, we found Grace in bed in knickers, her bathers and a beach hat!!  It was hilarious.  Once again, she was in such a deep sleep, I could easily change her back into her pyjamas.  The following night, with the dress-up basket still in the living room, Grace decided to change into her floral party dress before hitting the pillow.    It’s become a case of ‘what outfit will Grace have changed into tonight?’

One night in that same week, as I was creeping out of Sophie’s nursery having done an early morning feed, I thought I’d poke my head in to see if Grace was warm enough.  There she was sitting on her bed, ‘mid-change’ getting dressed into the fairy costume yet again.

Following on from all the advice on my last post, I’ve decided Grace can dress up all she wants during the day at home.  As I said previously, there’s only a certain window in a little girl’s life where it’s acceptable to do so.  Over the past few nights however, I’ve come to the conclusion that the issue I have is Grace getting out of bed after she’s been tucked in.

Over the past week, each night, after I’ve read her a story, had cuddles and tucked her in, she’s either done an outfit change or been creeping around the house ‘borrowing’ things to bring back into her room.  Every night she’s ‘borrowed’ the torch I keep next to my bed as well as the little light-up clock in Sophie’s room which I use to see the time during the early morning feed. 

So, how should I deal with this?  I’ve explained to Grace that once Mummy has tucked her in, she’s only allowed out of bed if she needs to go to the toilet and that if she does get out of bed, there will be a consequence.  Last night, she still hadn’t learnt and so her consequence tonight is that she must go to bed before Sophie (lately, she’s been allowed to go to bed after Sophie seeing as she is older).  I’ve told her there will be no DVD (she is normally allowed to have ten to fifteen minutes of watching one while I feed Sophie).  Tonight it will be bath, pyjamas and straight to bed.

However, I’ve been wondering about a few things:


·         Should I find some more appealing pyjamas for Grace?  I did try letting her choose which ones she wore to bed in the hope that she would be happy with her choice.  However, that night she came into the living room naked, nightie in hand announcing she needed to change into another one.  I’ve also been giving her a choice of two outfits each morning in the hope that giving her a bit more choice might help.

·         Is Grace not tired enough when it’s bedtime?  With our new night time routine, her bedtime has moved back by half an hour which I don’t want to change.  However, on most days, she is still having a very long nap after lunch and I’m not sure that’s such a good thing for an almost three year old.  Yesterday she slept from half past one until after four.  I’ve been contemplating shorting her nap in the hope she’ll be so tired at night, she’ll be asleep before she even thinks about wandering around the house.


I’d appreciate any ideas or advice anyone has on how to deal with this.  As I said, I’m not worried about the ‘dressing-up’ part (although having outfits pulled out of her wardrobe each day is beginning to drive me crazy) but what I don’t want is Grace wandering around the house in the middle of the night or early in the morning before I’m up.  Not only is it naughty, it could be dangerous.  What would you do if you were in my shoes?  



23 comments:

  1. Can you reward her for staying in bed with some sort of new costume item for her dress up box? First off start a reward each day after she stays in bed and then once she's getting good take it to two days or something. You could go to the local oppie and get some cheap scarves and shoes and jewellery and stuff for her to choose from or even make her some little accessories like a felt crown or a taffeta tutu?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Love that suggestion! I was thinking last night that some sort of reward chart might be the way to go (so teacher-like!!) but I like your idea of tying in the rewards with what she's interested in.

      Delete
  2. Oh, and how hilarious is that photo of her asleep in her bathers and hat!! hahah

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That was taken in the middle of the night on Paul's phone when we went to check on her :) I was trying so hard not to wake her but I was in fits of laughter when I found her like that :)

      Delete
  3. She's beautiful. It's so funny when you find them like that. I can only tell you what has worked with my girls. I dropped their nap as soon as it affected their bedtime. They were both nearly three. They have always been asleep by 6.30-7.00pm and they sleep about 11 hours. There is the concern that they won't make it through the day, but they do. They just need some down time in the afternoon where they're off their feet. The same bedtime routine every night, as much as possible, works too. But it sounds like you're doing that. I always believe positive reinforcement is the only way with young children. The first suggestion from Megan is really good. Have a lovely weekend..Rachaelxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We stick to a strict bedtime routine here too :) Thanks for sharing what's worked for your girls x

      Delete
  4. That is absolutely priceless!! Gee she is gorgeous too! I would do a reward chart as well. They seem to be fairly effective with my two. Both mine are dress up fanatics as well and I have let them traipse about town with me in all sorts of outfits... the six year old is showing no sign of losing interest in it yet!! Good luck! x

    ReplyDelete
  5. I was going to suggest a reward chart....but I see it's already been mentioned :) Home made lucky dips {or the $2 ones from Mr Toys Toyworld} are a hit with Ella in rewarding her for things :)

    I must admit, the thought of Grace sneaking around dressing up is quite funny. {I too would be in hysterics if I found her dressed in her swimmers & beach hat haaa} But as you said, it's dangerous & disturbing her sleep. Maybe shorten her day nap time so she isn't so **wide awake** at bedtime??? I must say that you're quite lucky to have her napping for so long still :) I'm jealous LOL!!! Ella dropped her day sleep at 2yrs old...boooo!! And now, if she has a day sleep {even if only 20-30mins} she's a nightmare to get to bed that night!

    Unfortunately, I'm not much help with other suggestions though. I'm at the other end of the spectrum, with Ella not wanting to ever be alone in her room or bed or anywhere for that fact. A lot of bribery & rewards are required to get her to fall asleep on her own...and then she's up & in our bed the second she awakes.

    x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Paul gets annoyed when Grace is so excited on the weekend and won't nap. But as I tell him, having her still nap is VERY lucky as I realise lots drop their nap much earlier.

      Delete
  6. oh, she is just gorgeous! And what a fabulous spirit and imagination. Bless her :) But I know the stress of non-sleeping and midnight wanderings. I have just come to the conclusion that the boys need to have their daytime sleep drastically cut, maybe even cut alltogeher! I have timed from their wakeup in the morning to their day sleep, and they easily go 7 hours, so it's not surprising that they're not keen to go to sleep for 12 hours only 4 hours after waking up from their day sleep! Today has been particularly horrendous. Took me 2 hours to get them down for their day sleep, and 2.5 hours at bedtime. I think if they hadn't gone to sleep at all today, tonight would have been fine. But then begs the question: what to do with them all day! I had cooked play dough, played play dough, made an epic thomas track, played trains, eaten croissants and jam, gone for a neighbourhood walk and puddle jump and all this by 9am. Far out. A whole day? I'm petrified! xxx

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh Amanda! This is very funny! But I can see how it would be a worry having Grace wander around by herself at night. It's the one thing I'm concerned about when Skye moves into her big girls bed. I will have to come back and read all your comments/suggestions again as preparation. X

    ReplyDelete
  8. Too funny Amanda and so cute, we actually went through a similar thing with Mr 4.
    His bed time is 7 regardless of any thing going on and even at 4 he still has lunch time naps where we can, as he is just that active that he needs it. Yes sometimes it takes him until 7.30 to fall asleep and sometimes he falls asleep straight away. But he really needs that sleep. Some kids do and some kids don't.
    We have grabbed a cheap Alarm clock and slowly instilled through pocket money that he is not allowed out of his room until the music comes on. We started at 6 am and slowly increased it.
    It took a few weeks but we kept at it and he knows at the end of the week he gets to go and spend his pocket money if he sticks to the alarm clock.
    So if he came out of his room money was taken away and if he stayed in his room he got the coins.
    We kept finding him in his jocks or with a mask on. As you mentioned this isn't the issue so maybe find a dress up that is "Pyjama like". We actually found a pair of batman pyjamas that had a Velcro cape so before bed he could be "dressed up" but the cape had to come off for bed as it was "dangerous" which he understood.
    The the alarm was turned on and he knew he was not allowed out of his room until he heard the music.....so its taken a few weeks like I said and now he knows.
    Whatever you decide just stick to it and reiterate over and over and don't lose faith. It will eventually sink in.
    In the mean time just keep laughing. ;-)
    By the way thanks so much for your lovely words over at my blog the other day and take care.
    xK

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOVE the clock idea - very clever! I had seen some that changed colour to indicate day and night but they were quite pricey.

      Delete
  9. Oh Amanda, I'm giggling in Hobart! What a little trickster Gracie is ☺. Sammy is nearly 3 and sleeps between 1-2.30 pm. Leaving it any later spells disaster for witching hour and bedtime. Sleeping until after 4 pm has only ever caused us grief with the pixies! J x

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh she is so cute! I have no advice but personally I'd try limiting her nap time and using a reward scheme. I agree it's far from ideal to have her wandering the house in the middle of the night. Good luck!! Xx

    ReplyDelete
  11. She's such a little character! I'd find it hard to keep a straight face too...but can understand how it might worry you....As I haven't been through the toddler napping thing, I can't offer any advice, but think you've been given some great suggestions. Keep us posted on how you go x

    ReplyDelete
  12. Amanda, that is so sweet, although I sympathise with you..I have to say that your instincts are probably on the mark..as a mum with a daughter going through a similar stage and a 6 y.o who's been there also, this is a developmental stage, and yes, unfortunately, the daytime naps do interfere with nightime routine. They do love to pick out their own outfits too (makes them feel more independent). I find that my daughter Sarah(nearly 3) copes ok without a nap every second day (or so), and although it is hard to fill in the day, it's easier to get her to bed at night when she is really tired. Otherwise, she is in and out 3 or 4 times, and it's 8.30/ 9 o'clock before she is ready for sleep! I try to get her to have a rest on the couch with a dvd on in the afternoon, which still gives me a break and her a little down time. As for the wandering, our place is pretty childproof now, and if Sarah gets up early, she usually comes straight into our bed anyway..a natural alarm clock for me!! Best of Luck :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Little pickles, aren't they?!!! Don't worry about daytime sleep if that's what Grace needs. Luca was 4 in Feb and he still needs lots of downtime and lots of sleep. He sleeps for at least a couple of hours in the day and will still sleep 12 hours at night. As for getting up, we went through this when Luca was 3, and we had to keep putting him back repeatedly. Not sure what worked in the end, a phase like everything. Haven't had the problem of him wondering about in the night. Not sure what to suggest. Maybe she needs even more time in the day to do the dressing up, so she doesn't feel the need to at night? Let us know how you go. x

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hi Amanda, firstly thank you for sharing the love of my mint green lamp base. Grace is a little minx and so cute but not too cute that you are worrying your head off over her night time theatricals. From experience I would cut down her nap time or not give her one at all during the day.......and collect more outfits. x

    ReplyDelete
  15. I don't know what to do about the dilemma!

    My 4 year old never really got up at night, and settled pretty well to sleep despite having long naps.

    My 2.5 year old gets up all the time and gets toys out. It was limited to his room until this week because he couldn't open the door handle! He's learnt how now though and so he comes creeping out.

    He is skipping lots of day sleeps (won't go to sleep, keeps getting up) yet still stays awake late at night. I'm a little lost - my 4.5 year old still goes to sleep by 8 even if he has had a nap!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Perhaps she no longer needs a day sleep...I give my 2.5 yr old an hour and a half of quiet time each day where he has to play in his room, sometimes even on his bed just with books and soft toys etc. Sometimes he asks to just do puzzles and I let him (of course). She is super dooper cute!! x

    ReplyDelete
  17. Naw! What a cutie.

    I had to change harpers nap from after lunch to before lunch to help with bedtime.. Works a little. I still have the cot set up though so if he gets out of bed 3 times he goes in the cot..

    Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Oh my isn't she a cutie but I understand how you would be concerned about her getting up off her bed in the middle of the night. It sounds like you've been given lots of great advice, a good routine can help or staying close by if you can until she falls asleep so you can monitor what she is doing. I hope that all is going well with Grace's night time sleep. xx

    ReplyDelete

Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a comment - it really makes my day!!