Monday, May 30, 2011

The New Bed Disaster

Last night was Grace's transition from cot to bed and it was a monumental disaster that I feel terrible about this morning. On Saturday, we had my cousin's wedding to attend and my mother-in-law was to babysit Grace while we were at the reception. We decided to wait until Sunday for the 'great bed change' so that my mother-in-law would still be able to use the mattress to sleep over. When we arrived home, Grace was sleeping soundly in her cot and I thought to myself how that would be her last time doing so and when she woke in the early hours of the morning (I presumed with teething pain), I actually enjoyed being able to sit in the nursing chair with her for one last time as I comforted her.

On Sunday, I was very eager to set up Grace's new bed so I could begin planning her quilt and the next stages of decorating her room. However, we decided to wait until after her afternoon nap. Paul put it together and it looked perfect once I'd put sheets and a blanket on it. "Like this bed," remarked Grace.

Last night as I tucked Grace under the covers, she appeared content and when we checked on her as we headed off to bed ourselves, she was in a deep sleep. Mission accomplished... or so I thought. Overnight, we had a lot of heavy rain and when I woke to the sound of it around ten thirty, I thought I'd sneak a peek at Grace. As soon as I quietly opened the door, she woke and this is where it all went pear-shaped.

Grace work crying uncontrollably. I tried everything I could to settle her to no avail. Paul was not impressed. He had an early start and a super busy day ahead at work. Why had we chosen tonight for this? Eventually, thinking Grace's pesky two-year old molars must be bothering her, I gave her some Bonjela and Panadol and with a combination of distraction and soothing techniques, she drifted off to sleep and I headed back to our bed around midnight.

Around two in the morning, I was woken by a loud bang and so was Grace. "Something just landed on our roof and has woken her," I grumbled to Paul as he headed down the hallway to Grace's room. Turns out, the loud bang was Grace falling out of bed and whacking her head on the metal frame. She was not a happy camper and as I switched places with Paul, I made the decision that I was wrong. Wrong to have tried out the great bed swap on a night when Paul had an early start and perhaps wrong even in my choice of bed. I dragged the cot back into Grace's room, made it up again (once Paul had moved the bed aside) and tucked Grace in. "Like the cot better," Grace said to me through her tears. She was asleep within minutes and didn't make a sound for the rest of the night.

I lay in bed until three this morning comforted by the rain and the fact that my little girl was sound asleep and that Paul too had drifted off, but I felt terrible and lay awake doubting all the decisions I had made regarding this fiasco. Maybe I should have taken my Mum's advice and started with the single bed mattress on the floor. Maybe I should have checked out the toddler rails my mother-in-law had pointed out in the Target catalogue. Maybe I should have converted Grace's cot into a toddler bed first. Maybe Paul was right and I've chosen a bed that is pretty but not practical for Grace when she is an absolute wriggler and squirmer in bed at night. Maybe I would now have to try and sell not only our super-high ensemble base but also the new bed frame and start again. Maybe a lower ensemble bed is the way to go after all. Maybe I'm rushing these changes considering our new baby will most likely sleep in a bassinette alongside our bed for several months.

Today I'm in a state of disarray and I felt so sorry this morning when Paul headed off to work having had little sleep. I know this change is going to have to happen sooner or later but I think I've stuffed up big time. With my growing belly though, getting Grace in and out of the cot is becoming increasingly uncomfortable.

I hope you all have a better start to your week than the one in our house this morning...


  1. Oh sweetheart...I really feel for you ..and Grace...and poor Paul...dont be so hard on yourself..its all trial and error with these things.

    Honestly.I think all you need is the bedrail...this is what I am going to use for Jacq ( when I FINALLY find a suitable bed) at least try that option..I dont think you have tried it too soon...Grace certainly looks ready in that pic ; )
    I think the bed rail also gives it a little more of a closed in feeling for them they feel secure. Perhaps a bolster cushion or another flat pillow on the opp side would also help should she roll towards the avoid any bumps.
    I have no idea how my little Jacq is going to be when I have to trial this out..he is a major wriggler and kicks and rolls all over the place.

    Its like anything with little kids...they notice it takes a little time to settle. Good luck with it honey x

    As it is...he has been getting out of his cot around 3am and coming into our bed almost every night..its exhausting.

  2. Oh Amanda, don't beat yourself up. There's never really a perfect time for anything, and things all fall into place eventually. (Famous last words). You know I did use the bed rail you mentioned, they're excellent, as you have peace of mind. I think I used mine for about six months for each child.
    My three year old little girl goes to bed in her own big bed, but still crawls into our bed after midnight all the time. I don't mind though, as it's not forever, and at that point I'm so tired who cares. I figure it will eventually stop, as it's not every night.
    Wishing you a better night sleep tonight!

  3. oh please keep posting on this topic. I had trouble with the bassinette - cot transition (I cried and felt unneeded - she did awesome). We have started to check out beds for our almost 2 year old and have included her in the looking - luckily she has liked the one we have chosen - points at it in the mag and says - mine. I would love to see how this goes - I have my fingers crossed for you. Good luck

  4. Oh no Amanda, don't feel so bad as long as Grace is ok and although Paul might be tired hopefully he catches up on lost sleep tonight. It isn't always easy making the transition from cot to big bed and although she fell out she was happy to go into it. My oldest had a fall out of her bed, she was a bit of a wriggler too, she ended up bumping her tooth and it turned a brownish colour. (it ended up being ok) After that though we got her a rail for her bed and put a mattress down on the floor or sometimes pillows just in case and eventually she stopped rolling around, she was 2 years old when she went into a bed too. I hope that you get some rest today and maybe try again another time. Take care lovely. xo

  5. Don't be too hard on yourself Amanda! These things can happen no matter what bed you chose. I chose a low to the ground, teeny tiny bed for the transition and still Jasper fell out, wriggled around and bumped his head! See how you feel, either try the bed out just for a daytime nap or try again in a few months. You are doing a wonderful job as a mum to Grace! xx

  6. Owwww Amanda don't fret it wasn't your fault. I'm sure you will come up with a solution that will work for you. This is your first time afterall your not expected to get everything 110% right the first time. Don't be too hard on yourself x

  7. Oh, Sweetheart, don't beat yourself up. Children are the most unpredictable creatures and especially with the first-born, we always have our 'L' plates on!

    We have used combinations of converting the cot into a toddler bed (with accompanying bedrail) and then a lower to the floor toddler bed with a rail. We also placed cushions on the floor in case they fell out in spite of the rail. After a while, we did away with the bedrail.

    See if you can borrow a bedrail from a friend or someone in your mother's group as you don't need to use it for long.

    J x

  8. Oh yes. This is a familiar story! When my son transitioned to a bed, he settled after 3 days. Can I please tell you that he was NOT happy on his first night and I had to put him back into bed more than 70 times. Yep, you heard right. It was hours. The next night was only 20 times and then the 3rd night, I didn't hear a peep.

    Can I suggest that all you need is a bed rail. Kids do squirm but most do stop that after a while being in a bed. And when you decide to put her back in a bed, the cot needs to be 'given away' (as in, put it safe somewhere for the next arrival so she thinks it's gone forever). Because, maybe she'll think if it gets too hard, all you'll need to do is take the cot out again.

    Do not fret. You are doing a great job and this is a story that we know all too well.

  9. Aww, sounds like you had a rough night! It's all part of the learning process though and like everyone else said, try not to be too hard on yourself (her bed *is* pretty too). I'm with Jane -- maybe try out a bedrail for a while. I don't love how they look but the preschooler still has one and he loves his bed (cot converted into a bed). And I was just rembering yesterday (as I looong to take off the rail) that the teen had one on his bed until he was 5. Ah well. Let us know how it goes!

  10. We used a bed rail and I put the cot mattress on the floor for the first few weeks so if the Farmchild in question rolled out they landed on the mattress anyway! It was not unusual to find that they had done this and not even woken up!!!

    You will get there.

  11. oh dear, possum........ if its any consolation I ended up on the couch last night with Elliott in my bed having thrown up all over his! Definitely definitely invest in a bed rail, I still use mine with Fern after 6 months for my own peace of mind AND hers!! Her bed is super high too.... also I think it gives them a bit of security like they got with the cot rails. Also, I swear by a night light? And a billion soft toys? Here's praying for a better night tonight for you. ps. Isnt it terrible how as mothers we reach for the panadol, hoping it will solve everything -- I do it constantly. Rarely works in my case though!!!

  12. Motherhood's a tricky business... baby steps, Amanda! Our first two girls took to their beds with not a problem but our third, no matter what we do, wriggles like a worm and on the odd occasion I've found her on the floor on the other side of the room sound asleep. Whether she falls or climbs out of bed, I've no idea. She'll get it in the end though.

    I'm sure Grace will come around to her new bed soon. gxo

  13. Oh no! You poor thing and poor Gracie. Don't get upset with yourself though I'm sure either a bed rail or the mattress on the floor is the perfect solution! Even despite the tumble out of bed it sounds fairly successful to me as I know that Will would be escaping out of bed at every chance and going walk-about if I was transitioning him (which is why I'm keeping him in the cot for as long as possible). :)

    Gracie is probably read to make the move and with a bed rail I think it will probably be all sorted - fingers crossed.

    Funny we both had horrid nights... And at first I thought it was two year old molars too but I got Will a dr appointment first thing this morning and he has a very bad ear infection, his ear drum is close to rupturing poor little darling :(

    Lets pray they both have good night sleeps tonight.
    And big hugs, you are a wonderful Mummy and I don't like to think of you giving yourself a hard time, it's all learning experiences isn't it as they don't come with instruction manuals :)

  14. Hi Amanda, don't worry, I'm sure the bed you have chosen will be fine given time. My sister also bought a really high ensemble and my niece fell out of it a couple of times in the beginning, but they got the bed rail which helped and within a few weeks they had no problem with it anymore. She also put pillows around the edge of the bed in case she fell out. Good luck!

  15. I think all that advice is fabulous!! Try again later. maybe go and both sit in the bed to read a book for now. Good luck!

  16. Oh Amanda, don't doubt yourself. Honestly, Will has fallen out of the bed because we skipped the bedrail thinking he was 2.5 and he'd be fine.

    You can try rolling up a blanket into a long sausage and put it under the fitted sheet along the edge of thed - it acts a bit of a barrier to her rolling out of bed. THen just put the cot mattress on the floor beside her?

    GOod luck with the transition.

  17. Oh dear, you poor things! I think this is just one of those things, sometimes it goes off without a hitch, and sometimes not.

    The bed rail is the way to go :)

    Maybe give it a break for a couple of weeks then have another go. Another suggestion I've heard is just to put her down for day naps in the bed and keep using the cot at night. I did this with Noah for a couple of days, we also spent a bit of time sitting around on it reading etc. before we gave it a go.

    Parenting is a tough gig, hey?! I remember how hard it is with a belly too, they get so heavy don't they?

  18. Oh you poor things! Don't be so hard on yourself Amanda and really, there is porbabl no great time to do this. I agree with the others, a bed rail is the way to go. It will all be fine and dandy in no time!

  19. Oh hon, the mother guilt with parenting is phenomenal isn't it. I second the bed rail, I also set the bed up in the bedroom but left the cot assembled. Started off with just day sleeps in the bed and in the cot at night and eventually did away with the cot once they were used to the bed. I used the bed rail for about a year and then for the first few months after I took it away put the cot mattress on the floor next to the bed as a precaution! Good luck! x

  20. I'm afraid i have no practical advice to help Amanda, but I can sympathise changes with children must be hard especially when it comes to sleeping at night, but hopefully one night is only one night. Perhaps you could try grace having afternoon naps in the bed to start, if she has them or lie with her s bit while she goes to sleep? I'm sure it will all be fine and the bed will be the right choice. And I hope you have a lovely week xx

  21. Amanda, you absolutely haven't made the wrong decision, you just had a really bad night. Grace will soon get used to her boundaries in her bed. A bed rail is a great idea. Give it a little break and try again soon....good luck xx

  22. Oh you poor thing! We have a similar style bed and went through the same when our daughter was two. We tried a bedrail but took it off after one night because she was climbing up over it and falling from higher! What helped in the end was picking some pillows and sheets that she liked and we lay down next to her for story time cuddles making sure we said we couldnt do that in the baby cot. It only took a couple more nights - she is now coming up to four with many many nights of happy sleep in the big girl bed. Hang in there!

  23. Oh dear, my daughter is 27 but I remember this experience vivdly. Go the bed rail! Even better, take Emma's advice & be kind to yourself. This is one of many transitions she will master. Tiny steps.

  24. Oh, hope you have a better day today! This is just a growing pain.... for everyone :(. Try not to beat yourself up-- you had no idea that any of that would happen. And the fact that it bothers you so much now shows that you really care, which is the definition of being a loving, awesome mom.

  25. It will get better! You poor thing. Don't doubt yourself, you're doing a wonderful job.

    We absolutely had to have one of those side rails though, our Bear was (and still is) a serial wriggler, tosser, turner. We only took the side rail off at 4!

    Invest a bed rail and sleep easier, big hugs,


  26. You are all so lovely. Thankyou so much for taking the time to share your advice and to reassure me :)

  27. oh honey, you shouldn't beat yourself up. Who is to know what these little unpredictable creatures will do. She looks so happy lying there in that picture! You couldn't have known. You know, I am transitioning the twins into big boy beds at the moment too, and I have discovered something thatlooks amazing - it is the GroBag Stay on Bedding. It is a bottom sheet, pillow case and duvet cover all in one that zippers up the side, so it's like a sleeping bag, but in a single bed size. Grace wouldn't be able to fall out of the side, and her beautiful bed won't be ruined with a toddler rail :) I'm ordering some for the boys this week I think. Hamish is going well, but I don't trust that Rocky - he's going to up to no good all night long I reckon! Jenxxx

  28. Be kind to yourself, any big change like this is hard and takes time. Immy fell out of her bed on the second night and she only ever did it once! We put her sheet sideways so there was more to tuck in and made sure she was tucked in tightly and popped her cot mattress on the floor next to her bed and it never happened again. Why not leave it a little while and then try again when you have a few days all home together so if she is unsettled then you don't also have the stress of work or other commitments. You will get there when you are both ready x


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